Natalie Portman talks about self-doubt, insecurities in Harvard commencement speech

“Even 12 years after graduation, I'm still insecure about my own worthiness. I have to remind myself today, 'You are here for a reason.'”

This is what the Academy Award-winning actress and debuting Hollywood director Natalie Portman admitted to Harvard University's graduating class of 2015 at the beginning of her commencement speech delivered during the annual Class Day celebration in Tercentenary Theatre, Cambridge.

The 33-year-old actress, who holds a degree in psychology to accompany a slew of acting awards from a 22-year career, attended the prestigious university from 1999 to 2003, during which she battled self-doubt brought on by the fact that she was surrounded by some of the world's smartest people, and that she only saw herself as an actress whose purpose was nothing "serious or could particularly change the world."

Portman said, "When I came in as a freshman in 1999, I felt like there had been some mistake, and that I wasn't smart enough to be in this company and that every time I opened my mouth, I would have to prove that I wasn't just a dumb actress.”

"When I got to Harvard just after just the release of Star Wars: Episode 1, I knew I would be starting over in terms of how people viewed me. I feared people would assume I had gotten in just for being famous, and that they would think I was not worthy of the intellectual rigor here," she continued.

She admitted to be completely overwhelmed and intimidated, and with the goal of proving herself worthy, she sought subjects that struck her as “serious and intellectual,” such as neurobiology and Hebrew scripts.



This move, and the fact that she got grades that are less than stellar, only made Portman realize that her purpose was clear, she need only reclaim it.

She grew strong enough to know that she became an actor for a reason—because she loves acting, and there is no more better reason to pursue something than that.

“Seriousness, for seriousness' sake, was its own kind of trophy, and a dubious one. A pose I sought to counter some half-imagine argument about who I was. There was a reason I was an actor. I love what I do. And I saw from my peers and my mentors that it was not only an acceptable reason, it was the best reason.”

Portman encouraged the new set of graduates to go seek what they love to do no matter how hard it could be or no matter how different it comes off, because choosing your own path is more important than following one that has been set for you.

Moreover, she also made it a point to remind these young minds to appreciate the challenge more than they look forward to the reward that comes after it.

It may have been contradicting to hear this from someone who has achieved a lot from years of academic and creative excellence, she said, but after everything is said and done, “Achievement is wonderful when you know why you’re doing it. And when you don’t know, it can be a terrible trap. ”

She goes on to say, “Your insecurities and inexperience may lead you to embrace other people's expectations, standards, or values. But you can harness that inexperience to carve out your own path. One that is free of the burden of knowing how things are supposed to be. A path that is defined by its own particular set of reasons.”

“If your reasons are your own, your path, even if it’s a strange and clumsy path, will be wholly yours, and you will control the rewards of what you do by making your internal life fulfilling.”

In 2003, Portman graduated from college and knew that there was only one thing she is looking forward to doing for the rest of her life—to continue acting and being part of the colorful and creative world that is film.

"After 4 years of trying to get excited about something else, I admitted to myself that I couldn't wait to go back and make more films. I wanted to tell more stories, to imagine the lives of others and help others do the same. I had found or perhaps reclaimed my reason," she concluded.

Portman has been known to act since age 11, with films like 'Leon: The Professional" and the "Star Wars" franchise.

In over 20 years, she has appeared in close to 40 feature films, working with top directors such as the late Mike Nichols, Woody Allen, and Tim Burton, and gaining acclaim for her work.

She earned her Oscar for best actress for her role in Darren Aronofsky’s psychological thriller “Black Swan,” and has also been recognized by other prestigious award-giving bodies such as the Golden Globe Awards, BAFTA Awards, and the London Critics Circle Film Awards.

In 2013, Portman chose an adaptation of Israeli author Amos Oz's autobiographical novel "A Tale of Love and Darkness" as her directorial feature debut.

Aside from directing, she also co-wrote and starred in the film that premiered at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival. — Bianca Rose Dabu/BM, GMA News