The Final Score: Jeron Teng goes Brock Lesnar on Ateneo

 

I was supposed to use the title “Jeron Teng flexes muscles against Ateneo” but I realized that Jeron’s muscles appear permanently flexed. Ganun na ata talaga yun. Para siyang muscle na tinubuan ng Archer. Like I believe when he was born, may big muscles na siya and naka-flex na yung big muscles niya. That has to be some sort of Guinness World Record, right?  

 

Nobody scores at will the way Jeron scores at will. The sagasa factor in strong in this one. Think of Brock Lesnar. Then make him sing "Unbreak My Heart." Then make him selfie-ready. Then force him to wear a medium La Salle jersey. Then give him the green light to drive to the basket.

That’s Jeron Teng. Para siyang ten-wheeler speeding along Katipunan Avenue at 11:30 p.m. There is no choice. Tatabi talaga lahat.

 

Unlike Jason Perkins, who is not just smooth but is ismoot na ismoot, Jeron scored 15 points in the first period by dismantling barricades and crashing through walls. Kung nakapag-Milo BEST lang siguro si John Cena, maybe he could’ve been the next Jeron Teng. Seriously, if anyone ever tries to draw an offensive foul from Jeron on a fastbreak, that player deserves to have his own statue in front of the school. 

 

Ateneo’s Kiefer Ravena, on the other hand, needed every head fake, shoulder fake, and ball fake in his book of spells. Pahirapan. He couldn’t just ram through La Salle’s defense. He had to take detours. Often, he had to create new detours altogether. 

 

Remember François Tolour - “The Night Fox” - from Ocean’s Twelve? Remember that epic Capoeira scene? Tolour had to dance through a laser field and avoided certain detection by just inches. That was Kiefer. And that was tiring. 

 

I dare not say that Kiefer’s performance art is more artful than Jeron’s performance art. One is not necessarily more artistic than the other. One’s style does not demand more creativity than the other’s ways. The Atenean is Houdini. The Lasallian is The Ultimate Warrior. Art is art. In a game that fortifies the thought of a possible head-to-head-down-the-wire duel for season MVP (maybe even finals MVP?) between Ravena and Teng, how can you not admire both? 

 

At the end of the game, after La Salle gained a share of first place, Jeron stood on the court and looked like he could still do 900 push-ups once he finished singing his alma mater song. I wasn’t surprised.

 

Check out Jeron’s last three games: 25 points, 11 rebounds versus UP, 22 points, 6 rebounds and 5 assists versus UST, and 32 points, 6 rebounds and 5 assists versus Ateneo.

 

After starting the season at 0-2, La Salle is on a 6-game winning streak. Even with all the injuries. Even with the green pants. Even with Jeron trying to sing like Toni Braxton. 

 

No wonder Coach Juno Sauler remains unfazed even if we’ve never seen him fazed. He has a team that transcends the loss of key players, he has players that transcend the lack of experience, and he has Jeron Teng – a player who transcends the definition of force and transcends whatever contradictory force opponents attempt to provide.

 

To use Asgardian strength in a way that could inspire poetry is still art in potent form. — JST, GMA News