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On Tinder, a writer indulges in fantasies by creating tweaked versions of herself
[Ed's note: #TinderTales is a weekly column that attempts to look at online dating. This week's tale features a submission from a Tinderella who likes to unleash her creativity on Tinder. Have a story to share? Email us at submissions@gmanews.tv]
I have had access to the Internet for about half my life, and as much as I enjoy the constant exposure to all this information around the world, the most important thing I’ve learned is that in the digital world, nobody is who they seem.
I’m not talking about Nigerian princes about to inherit vast fortunes or pedophiles who prey on schoolchildren — although those are deplorable and should serve as lessons for all of us to become more careful.
I’m talking about the dating world. Sure, we’ve all been surprised by the date whose profile photo turned out to be taken some years and a few pounds ago, but admit it, even you have pretended to be someone you’re not. The curtain of anonymity and privacy gives you confidence.
And on Tinder, well, the possibilities are so endless that it’s fun. I mean, only a small percentage of Tinder swipes and chats end up becoming real life dates and a smaller percentage turn into serious relationships, so might as well unleash your inner Rowling, right?
Because I’m a freelance writer who dabbles mostly in fiction, in between jobs I have to find ways to get my creativity working so I don’t get rusty. Some people turn to blogging; some make interesting characters and storylines in The Sims, others won’t admit it but they’re Wattpad famous for some uber-cliché guilty pleasure that probably involves Werewolves or hidden arranged marriages.
Me? I turn to Tinder.
Because I know there’s little possibility of actually getting together in real life or the relationship turning into something serious, I play around with a lot of personas and unleash different parts of my personality to cater to the guy’s likes and dislikes. Everything I’ve fantasized about myself, I make it so. After all, nobody is who they seem.
Colin
Colin was a kindergarten teacher who was so woke he’d put Jordan Peele’s Get Out to shame. He was into the whole Marx-overthrowing capitalism thing and down with the bourgeoisie. He and I ended up going on two dates because we got along in terms of our political stances (we both rallied around a burial that shouldn’t have happened), and we both liked hanging out with kids.
With Colin, I unleashed my inner Mae Juana Change Paner. I admit to googling Erdogan’s policies while he was in the bathroom, and I told him a hilarious anecdote about a very rich classmate of mine who had never taken a public Jeepney his whole life. I’m very outspoken about my political beliefs online, but I usually avoid the topic on dinner dates. Colin was refreshing, and I was glad to have had the chance to talk about socio-political issues with someone who was not an internet troll in the comments section or a close friend. Malala would have been proud.
Sadly, it ended because it seemed he couldn’t talk about anything else.
Evan
Evan worked in a bank, so it was time to become Miss Wall Street. I swiped right, and we matched. I wanted a date with this guy, so I showed him my financially savvy side and told him how I always invested my royalties while pretending to not know a lot about hedge funds so he could play the hero and educate me. On our date, I did the hair flip thing and put my hand on my cheek when he talked about the stock market — tell me more, I tried to say seductively. By God, he ate it all up.
I did learn a thing or two from him though on smart banking, so for that I’m thankful. But he was kind of boring so I broke it off after one date.
Drew
Drew was a European scientist on loan to a local university. All those years of watching "Big Bang Theory" had to pay off somehow. I told him how even though I was in the arts, I’ve always been fascinated by science, especially astronomy (this part is actually true — I’ve known who Neil Armstrong was since the first grade). We chatted about Neil de Grasse Tyson, and we joked about placing bets if Elon Musk would really have people on Mars by the next decade. I started to really like this guy, but he was a bit too forward with sex for my liking.
Just so we’re clear, I have never been completely untruthful. I did like talking about politics, I did try to make smart financial decisions about my royalties, and I have always been fascinated by space.
Chatting with those guys just got me to refocus on a different side of my personality, and I ended up learning a whole lot about the fields they were in thanks to all the googling I did to keep up.
In a way, I was indulging a fantasy by creating a tweaked version of me that I thought would impress these guys.
Instead of being the freelance writer who consistently took weekends off to the beach (which is how I’m branded by my peers), I got to give myself a different, but still truthful branding: the freelance writer who wanted to create a revolutionary piece of writing (true), the freelance writer who wanted to get into bitcoin (true), and the freelance writer who joined that ticket-to-space online gimmick (true).
I am all of these girls, yes. But I can’t be all of them at once to a guy I’ve just started chatting with.
Why did I want to impress these guys? To keep the conversation going, of course! How else am I going to spend my time in between writing jobs? We all have our secret things to do when we’re bored, and being the Orphan Black of Tinder was mine.
One day, I know I’ll find a guy who’ll be able to keep up with all those sides of me. Whether or not I’ll meet him in Tinderland remains to be seen. — LA, GMA News
