Carla Abellana shares insights on grief, where she is in moving forward from the divorce with Tom

Carla Abellana and Tom Rodriguez were together for seven and a half years before finally tying the knot.

So when their divorce was announced just a few months after getting married, it came as a shock to the showbiz industry.

Still, Carla’s supporters have noticed the Kapuso actress has been looking a lot happier lately. So in her interview on the “Updated with Nelson Canlas” podcast, Carla talked about whether she has already moved on.

“Actually, ang dali naman din sabihin [na I’m doing a good job at moving on]. Because I don’t know—but siguro nasanay ako na kahit ano pang pinagdadaanan mo lalo na kasi celebrity, [mag-ayos] ka, put your make up on, fix your hair, [mag-smile] ka pa rin in public, show up, you come to work, mga ganun,” she said.

Because of this, the fans and public would say “uy, mukhang you're happy, mukhang you're okay, mukhang you're moving forward or moving on.”

But Carla said that that is not the case.

“But really, aminin naman nating lahat—nobody really knows kung ano din naman yung nangyayari sa loob mo, kung ano pinagdadaanan mo, especially on an emotional and psychological point of view diba,” the Kapuso actress said. “So ayoko namang sabihin na ‘ay oo tama kayo nang nakikita na happy ako, I'm at peace or moving forward,’ [kasi] hindi naman din necessarily totoo.”

Looking back on her previous post for World Mental Health Day last month, Carla said what the public sees is just the tip of the iceberg.

“There is still a human being behind the smile, the makeup, and all,” she said.

“But I'm glad at least kahit papaano may mga nakakakita nga na ganun,” Carla added. “But it’s not necessarily the case. Kumbaga, aminin natin minsan nasa pagdadala na lang din.”

In the podcast, Carla shared her realizations about grief. "There are stages of grief pero hindi siya chronological," she said.

"Paganun-ganun pala siya," Carla realized. "You go back, you move forward, go back so medyo magulo siya. Hindi pala siya yong paakyat or isang direction lang. Talagang magulo."  

While she mentioned the non-linearity of grief is normal, Carla admitted, "hindi natin alam kung babalik ba ako sa second stage, third stage mga ganun."

"At this point ,nasa ganun na ako, meaning making. Definitely, nobody can predict or can tell kung magse-stay na ba ako doon sa stage na yon or babalik ba ako, but at this point yon. Definitely meaning making. Ito na yong you process everything, hinahanapan mo ng sagot, nag-e-educate ka, you educate yourself what else, you do your research or read or mga ganung hinahanapan mo na ng mga sagot kung meron mang masasagot. Ganun siya."

Listen to Carla Abellana’s full interview on “Updated with Nelson Canlas” on Spotify. — LA, GMA Integrated News