Game Review: It’s good to be bad in 'Castle Doombad'

There aren’t enough video games that let you play the bad guy.

 

Admit it; after saving pasty-faced princesses and spineless do-gooders for the eleven billionth time, you just want to let loose and give in to that appetite for destruction. But where to turn to, in this hour of dark, primal need? In an industry crawling with superheroes, knights in shining armor, and well-wishing Italian plumbers, where do you go to quench that thirst for bloodlust?

 

Despair not! For the Lords of the Netherworld have heard your cries for blood, and deigned you worthy of a momentary reprieve in the form of Adult Swim’s “Castle Doombad” for iOS devices – a tower defense game, a la Plants vs. Zombies, with a devilish twist: this time, you get to be the villain.

 

And for those who aren’t familiar with Adult Swim games, consider Castle Doombad your initiation into its weird, wacky, and often hysterically brutal world.

 

 

 

 

Sorry, the princess is in Castle Doombad

 

Dr. Lord Evilstein, who manages to look and even sound like Skeletor when he’s spouting constant gibberish, has kidnapped a cute little screamer of a princess. Your job as his chief minion is to keep her locked up in her cage, situated at the very top of a castle several floors tall.

 

Sounds easy? Not quite. Because where there’s a princess, there’s always some pathetic hero just waiting to bend over backwards just to kiss her pretty glass sippers. And in the case of this particular damsel in distress, there’s a line a mile-long of would-be hero types overly eager to knock down the castle’s doors, storm through its many corridors, and save her from Evilstein’s clutches.

 

 

 

 

Invite the good guys… to the slaughter!

 

No evildoer worth their salt comes unprepared. To ward off your sickeningly pious invaders, you are given an arsenal of excruciatingly painful traps to deploy. After selecting which of them to use in a mission, you then have more or less a minute to rig your castle’s many floors with them, in anticipation of an all-out good guy assault.

 

Some of these contraptions are fairly self-explanatory. For example, “floor spikes” shoot out from beneath heroes and impale them, while the “harpoon cannon” is a projectile trap that shoots harpoons at distant targets. And then you have more eccentric devices like the “treadmill of doom”, which basically slows down heroes who step on it, giving your projectile traps more time to do extra damage. These “auto traps”, as the name implies, are automatically activated; plant them on the floor, grab some popcorn, and watch as the glorious massacre unfolds.

 

There are also “manual traps”, which have to be tapped to work. Examples are the “stomper”, a huge metal disc that squashes your enemies flat (a video game castle staple!); and the “pirate cannon”, a projectile weapon that clears entire levels of irritating goody two-shoes with one powerful blast. These gizmos are more potent than the auto traps, but need some time to recharge after activation before they can be used again, making them somewhat tricky to handle. With sound strategy and impeccable timing, however, they can often turn the tide in your favor.

 

Lastly, you also have “minions” at your disposal: cute yet pugnacious little critters that attack good guys on sight. Unlike traps, minions are not stuck in place and are free to roam the floor you station them at. Particularly useful is the “medic minion”, a she-imp that heals your damaged units and traps – perfect for those sticky situations.

 

Of course, you need a form of currency to be able to afford all these hero killers. True to Castle Doombad’s sadistic nature, it’s the princess’ woeful cries for help that power your death machine. You can even build special “scream generators” to amp up the scream factor, allowing you to buy more hellish contraptions with which to punish those virtuous fools. They say no one loves you when you’re evil. So what? Their tears are all the company you’ll need.

 

 

 

Knights, ninjas, and Rambo

 

In time, the heroes will bust down the doors and start streaming in like the bunch of pathetic vermin they are. They will attempt to dismantle your traps, kill your minions, and climb ladders to reach the princess. Destroyed traps and murdered minions have to be replaced, lest wave after wave of righteous scum overwhelm you and steal your royal prize.

 

The heroes are a motley crew, ranging from the usual cannon fodder (those pitiful knights) to the intimidating (the machine gun-wielding Rambo clones). Because each comes with a unique skill set, every do-gooder needs to be dealt with in a specific manner. The “ninja” has the ability to stick to the ceiling, making floor-based traps useless against him – why not invest in a ceiling trap, like the “buzzsaw”? The “sexy knight” is powerful, but pauses every now and then to take a selfie – exploit this moment of narcissism, plant a “bomb minion” at his feet!

 

Winning a mission rewards you with coins, which you can then use to upgrade or purchase new traps or minions.

 

 

Being evil never felt so good

 

Castle Doombad is one helluva ride, and one heck of an addicting tower defense game. Its strength lies not only in its deliciously malevolent premise and sadistic humor, but also in the rich diversity of the ways you can introduce the heroes to their doom. You will find yourself replaying those missions over and over, just to upgrade every gadget and creature, and also to re-experience the exquisite rush that you can have only when slaughtering armies of disgusting saintly types. Though some may find the general lack of challenge a disappointment, suffice it to say that the sheer difficulty of the last few missions will have the inner masochist in you squealing in delight.

 

Which takes us to, perhaps, the single, most glaring problem with Castle Doombad – its length. At only three chapters and fifteen missions per chapter, Castle Doombad is a wee bit on the short side. Sure, there’s an “Endless Knights” bonus mode after you’re done with the main story, but the game could have benefited from at least four more chapters. At this point, if you don’t plan on replaying missions, the game can be finished in one weekend. Here’s hoping for additional (free) content to address this issue.

 

The champions of light and virtue have had their heyday. So put on those horns and sharpen those harpoons; it’s time to show the world how to have some fun, evil overlord-style.

 

Castle Doombad is available for $2.99 for iOS devices. — TJD, GMA News