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Ellen Adarna details 'dark' and 'traumatic' past in a tell-all video
Ellen Adarna finally broke her silence on social media after her two-year hiatus, detailing her "dark" and "traumatic" experience in an 8-minute tell-all video on her Instagram account.
Her post came after she talked about her recent mental training experience in Bali, Indonesia.
According to Ellen, she underwent training because she was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder.
"I don't really want to talk about it in detail because it's something very personal but let's just say that so many things happened all at once," Ellen said in the video. "Like in a span of 4 months or less than 4 months."
She added, "all the bad things that I imagined, happened. It was very traumatic for me."
It was all very new to Ellen because she was the type of person to "bounce back quick. I move on fast."
She revealed she went to therapy, had talks with psychiatrists, and did counseling.
"I was on medication, I was on a lot of tranquilizers," Ellen added.
For the first time, she experienced panic attacks, which she described as "really really bad — to the point where my body would shake and then I puke. It's so weird."
"Everything was getting hard, my muscles were getting stiff and I felt like I couldn't breathe and then I just ended up puking," she narrates.
In November 2018, Ellen decided to stop with her medication pills "because it just really made me numb, like I was always sleeping. Like that was my thing, sleeping was my thing. I would eat in bed, I wouldn't shower for days."
"The pills, my anti-depressants, it didn't make me sad. I didn't feel sadness but it didn't make me happy either. I didn't have feelings. I felt like a robot."
After stopping her medication, she went on a month-long vacation with her family, but she said she was still depressed.
"I thought I was getting better but I wasn't, I went to a nice country with my family, nice places and I still felt the same...I was still depressed."
Breaking free from depression
Ellen said she broke free from depression after her 14-day mental training called Kokoro in Bali, Indonesia.
"In Japanese Kokoro means connecting the mind, body and spirit and soul something like that," she said.
In the caption of her video, Ellen said she's now "101% okay now."
"No more meds and sadness... just love and smiles. I am out of that black hole," she wrote.
The actress returned to social media early in January by posting a video of her skiing in Switzerland.
While she didn't mention it in her tell-all, in July 2018, it was reported that Ellen gave birth. — Jannielyn Ann Bigtas/LA, GMA News
