Ibinahagi ng singer na si Maegan Aguilar ang kaniyang journey tungkol sa pagsailalim niya sa dalawang taon na drug rehabilitation, at kung paano niya napagtagumpayan ang kaniyang masamang bisyo.

Sa kaniyang guesting sa “Fast Talk with Boy Abunda” nitong Biyernes, kinumpirma ni Maegan na Abril nitong taon nang lumabas na siya ng rehab.

“I haven't thought of using again, ever since that time,” pagsisimula niya, bagama’t hindi siya kasalukuyang nakakapag-weekly reporting.

“Kasi nga, my life is on a move already, like with my children, how we spend time together, and then how I spend time with my mom and everything. And just very recently, Tito Boy, I was allowed to live on my own again by the family,” anang anak ng OPM icon na si Freddie Aguilar.

Pag-amin ni Maegan, sadyang naging bisyo niya ang pagdo-droga noon.

“I'm allergic to alcohol. I'm allergic to nicotine. And I wanted to have a vice, so I did drugs because I wasn't allergic to that,” paliwanag niya.

Ayon pa sa kaniya, nagdodroga siya kahit na wala naman itong kaugnayan sa kaniyang mga pinagdadaanan.

“I justified the use of it with the problems that I had,” aniya. “A vice and a bad habit. And then you just make excuses for it sometimes.”

Habang sumasailalim sa rehab, ipinaliwanag sa kaniya na isang relapsing chronic disease ang adiksyon.

Dahil sa kaniyang sitwasyon, nagpasiya pa siyang lumapit sa programa ni Senator Raffy Tulfo.

“I'm not sure what it is. It's a mix of desperation. It's a mix of impulsive deciding. And it's just... I was just completely walang hiya na. I wasn't... parang... Sa isip ko, if mahiya ako sa kinalalagyan ko, baka lalo lang akong mamatay if I don't try to ask help,” kuwento niya.

Epekto ng drugs

Dahil sa drugs, sinabi ni Maegan na pakiramdam niyang “entitled” siya sa tulong.

“Ang naging epekto sa akin, not sure about the others, pero the way that it affected me is it made me entitled. Na, ‘You have to help me. You have to give me what I want because I can't provide it for myself and I really need help,’” paliwanag niya.

Gayunman, hindi raw ito ang kabuuang kahulugan ng tunay na pagtulong, dahil hindi lang ito tungkol sa pera.

“The definition of true help was a haze. Kasi ang iniisip ko nu’n na makakatulong lang is pera,” pag-amin niya.

“But I watched all of these stories of the others, na they were helped, binigyan ng chance, natulungan, nakabawi. Pero it's all wrong, it's all like missed,” pagpapatuloy ni Maegan.

Nakadagdag pa sa kaniyang problema nang tila nilayuan na siya noon ng kaniyang pamilya.

“I was not hearing anything from my family pa rin. Parang talagang tinabla talaga nila ako.

But then, that time, 10 years na kaming estranged, hindi kami nag-uusap talaga ng ganoon katagal. So there was nothing helping me.”

Kalaunan, tinulungan siya ng singer na si Kuh Ledesma, na naging daan sa kaniyang pagpasok sa unang rehabilitation center.

“And that was like, I couldn't believe it that it was Kuh kasi we became best friends like 20-something years back when I first became a Born Again Christian. So she remembered that friendship and decided like, ‘Okay, I'll help her out. No one's there.’ And she did,” ayon kay Megan.

Gayunman, hindi pa sumagi sa isip ni Megan na hindi na maganda ang takbo ng kaniyang buhay.

“Ang talagang pakay ko lang doon is magpahinga, paglabas, tira ulit,” saad niya.

Pagkaalis ni Maegan sa rehabilitation, muli niyang nakita ang kaniyang partner, na gumagamit din ng droga, kaya nagsimula na naman siyang gumamit.

“Alam mo sa totoo, hindi niya kasalanan eh. It's not his fault. Pero pareho kaming ganu'n ang ginagawa. So kung isa sa amin ay gustong lumayo na sa droga or gusto nang mag-recover, pero 'yung isa, hindi pa, it's not gonna work,” ayon kay Meagan.

Hindi naman niya itinanggi na ikinalungkot ito ni Kuh.

“She was sad. Sabi niya, ‘You already know what happened to you living that life. Why do you have to repeat?’ Ganyan.”

Walang iba kundi sarili

Matapos mag-relapse, dito na rin naging homeless o walang tirahan si Maegan.

“Before going to Rehab 2, homeless na ako ng one week. Hindi ko 'yun naranas before. Never ko inabot 'yung point na ‘yan,” aniya.

Sinabi ni Maegan na walang ibang magdedesisyon para sa kaniya kundi ang kaniyang sarili.

“Pero kasi, in the end, it only works if you work it. It has to be you eh. Kahit the best rehab pa ‘yan in the whole world or the best advisor, kung ayaw mo, it's not gonna work,” ayon kay Meagan. – FRJ GMA News